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July 4th, 2005
06:34 pm
i stil have tihs fuzzy taste in my mouth ickkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!1 im never gonna take another one of stuarts homemade cockcocktails wit xtra cock init!!!!111
anywaay alexs big gay out party was great!!!11! we celebrated him fianilly comin out to his mum an dad which wuz actually a big non-event coz his dad jus looked at him weird for abt ten seconds adn said "u mean u never knew???" siiiiiiiiiigh!!!!11 all those nites of sobbin adn wailin for sumthin ur parents figured out when u were five, alex!!!!!111 u cld have been doin sumthin positive liek gettin picked up by a hott stud at G-A-Y!!!1
oh deary im gettin a bit worried abt my oth boys tho theyre a right mess!!!!!111 but when r they not hehehe thats why i luv them so
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June 27th, 2005
06:42 am
hehe teh yeti gig was really good!!!1 hehehehehe
heehhehehhehehe
omfg u wld nvr beleive........
carl adn john hv amazing chemistry.
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June 7th, 2005
11:30 pm
WE FAINALLY FOUND HIM!!!!!1
hes sleeping all cosy in my bed now with the cmopany of peter and ive sod off 2 make sum tea. actually i think hes more passed out in fact i think hes slightly concussed coz i can see a bruise on his temple.
me and peter met up at wonderful wondreful wolfmans place just now to get carl. at first we knocked on the wrong door and walked in ion this man in a great big adult diaper and a woman in a leather mask danglging a giant pacifier over him, huh. wolfman lives in a weird nieigbourhood. we got the right door finally but it turned out 2b this dark passage goin underground with lots of locked doors and drippy pipes and stone floors with more weird stuff arnd liek powdered victorain wigs and plastic tulips.
i even saw a rat goin up a staircase that went up to the ceilin and just stopped there!!1 the rat looked really confused too and dumb pete said it wuz a "lovely little mouse" and tried to put it in his pocket but i told him id squish it coz i hate rats.
we were callin "wolfman!!!1 woooolfmaaaaaan!!!!1" all the way down an fianilly he poked his head out of a door and said he was busy now so cld we get carlos ourself thanks very much and also that i owed him a foot massage among other things. wolfmans a cheeky bugger hehe. so we ambled down another pasasage and found our carlos in a cell chained by his feet 2 the wall.
he smeemed quite out of his ehead as he looked at us smiled and said, "hello there spongebob, fancy meetin u at alices tea party" before he passed out and smeared the giant daisy somebody had painted agianst his face agnst the stone. he still smleels like a new age shop and i swear i found sum huge bloody purple crystal tucked into his clavin kleins. and i know coz his crotch was even bigger n pokier than usual thn when peters arnd him.
peter hoisted him oonto his back and carlos kindo f dribbled adn snuffled down peters shirt. i hope hes not sustained lasting brain daamage it cld be tricky 2 repair. then we buggered off to the scerams comin from wolfmans door.
ooooh am fuckin tired. all this trauma i think im goin to take a qiuck nap on teh futon
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07:57 pm
MISSING!!!!!!!!!1
ONE (1) CARL ASHLEY REPHAEL BARAT
ANSWERS TO TEH NAME CARL, CARLOS, BIGGLES, CAPTAIN BIGGLES, CARLA, CARLITA, CARLOTTA, BARA, BA-RAT, BAR-RAT
AGE: 27 - 28 YRS OLD
BUILD: QUITE SHORT (1.6-1.7M), LANKY, CURVY BUM, MAY LOOK LIKE WOMAN FROM BEHIND
APPEARANCE: SHUOLDERLENGTH FLIPPED-OUT WAVY BLACK HAIR, DARK BLUE EYES, POINTY PINCHED NOSE, SHINY LIPS (maybelline shiny-licious lip gloss in strawberry tart), TWO DAY OLD STUBBEL
LAST SEEN WEARING: LEATHER JACKET, FAUX BURBERRY SCARF, FAUX CROCODILE SKIN BOOTS, RIPPED JEANS
IF FOUND PLS CONTACT KATIE!!!!!1 EXTREMELY IMPT
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05:48 pm
ive searched all of carlos ole haunts and shoppin plaeces!!!1 nowhere!!!1 ive even looked in the maet freezr in his favorutie chinatown noodle shop!!!1 i thot he might be there chewin on rawhide or sumthin but no he was not!!!! i checked the security gaurd office in harrods 2 see if hed been arrested tryin to shoplift another burberry scarf but no also!!11
waht the fuck what the fuck wath the fuck
CARLOS BARAT IF THIS IS ANOTHER 1 OF UR FNUNNY JOKES NOBODY GETS, NOBODY IS GETTIN IT NOW ESP ME!!!1 COME BACK AN FUCKIN OPEN UP UR PRESSIES ELSE U CAN KISS UR MAC MAKEUP KIT GOODBYE!!!1 AN TT INCLUDES THE DEWY JUBE LIPGELEE YOUVE BEEN TWITCHIN AT FOR THE LSAT 2 MONTHS!!!!1
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01:47 pm
carls still not messaged me back!!!!1 where the fuck!!!!!1
im too wrooried even to open up the pressies now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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11:44 am
still cant carl!!!!1 wheres he rolled off to????
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07:30 am
oh fuck it was awful. carl didnt even show up.
but......peter also actually came!!!1 on time!!!1 i wuz amazed
the party only raelly staretd aft he left tho cos every1 else i invited figrued tt carl and peter wld cum suuuper late so they turned up at arnd 2.30 in the mornin but still no carl. i know the fake berberry watch he bought frm sum chinese pirateer down an alley only shows hnog kong time but this is honestly ridiculous.
i have abt 5 kilos of rainbwo tinsel in my house and i have no idea what to do with it and also sleepin bodies liek gary whose bald head is reflectin the mornin sunlight. i bet if carl was here hed be abel to write a song abt it its very poetic, the reflective propreties of garys head. but hes not!!!1 wtf wtf if he is not comin soon i am totes openin up the pressies esp mine coz dammit i really wanted tt mascara too!!!!
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June 6th, 2005
10:54 pm
im so exicted abt carl's birthday party!!!1 am runnin arnd arrangin rainbow tinsel and baloons and all other kinds of shite. green and purple is gr8 colour combi i reckon half carl and me's fave colours!!1 argh argh guests beginnin to arrvie and the crates of beer havent yet cum
HI THIS IS GARY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARL YOU HAVE BEEN A TOP MATE!! HEY ARE YOU GOING TO BRING ME SOME OF YOUR MUM'S GREAT TEACAKES?! P.S. KATIE HAS HUGE KNOCKERS I CAN SEE WHAT YOU SAW IN HER!!
oh gary u r awfu!!!1 hehe
Hello. This is John. The flat looks nice, Katie. You can stop touching my face now.
hehe johns cheekbones are awe inspiring!!!1 johnny i need u to help slice some of the bitrhday cake later kk???/
ive invited peter hope carl doesnt kill me!!!!1 tru luv always needs a push liek!!1
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June 1st, 2005
11:07 pm
yes it is tru i knew he was gay when we had a 3sum with carl, he spent the entire time starin at carl!!1 ok so did i but i am str8 so i had an exucse. but i was ok wit it coz i am open-minded and understanding.
kate msoss, ur boyfriend is gay. u shld know coz i think it is not very ncie to marry sumbody gay, what if he cheats on u wit another MAN??? plus u have 2 buy strapons and stuff and people will look at u strange liek u r a lesbian.
yay season5 qaf is out!! brian/justin 4eva.!!!!11
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